


The Force bond: Kylo's view

by Mayajalakam



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 12:11:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14135793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mayajalakam/pseuds/Mayajalakam
Summary: A response to the movie and novelisation of Star Wars The Last Jedi.  An exploration of Kylo Ren's thoughts during the Force Skype sessions with Rey in TLJ.





	1. Force connection one

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Last Jedi: Expanded Edition](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/367014) by Jason Fry. 



> All credit to Rian Johnson and Jason Fry, whose work I have worked around to fill in the gaps. As much as I liked the novelisation, I was left frustrated that most of the Force Skypes were not written from Kylo Ren's point of view (for good reason I suspect). I kept thinking obsessively about it so this essentially has been a therapy for me to try and get over my Kylo Ren/Rey obsession!

Kylo Ren sat in relative peace in the sick bay. He stared impassively at the far wall as the medical droid removed the last remaining stitches on the long gash that snaked across his collarbone and cheek. He had refused painkillers. He liked the feeling of staying intensely still and mastering his pain until it was all he had to focus on. Sleep had been as evasive as ever; he couldn’t remember the last time he had slept in one long stretch. He had come to the medical center to help fill the nightly void and escape the torment of the last few days. Several of the officers, and of course that son of a bitch Hux, knew of his failure on Starkiller Base. Whilst he cared little of what these small minded, inferior fools thought, failure was not something he was accustomed to.

He had tried in vain to feel that the past few years of training under Snoke had not been for nothing but the latest confrontation with his master had been the final straw. He had outgrown the decrepit old bastard. Kylo Ren needed his freedom, which meant Snoke had to die. He was a slippery serpent, Kylo knew. Killing him may be possible, perhaps, but the repercussions would be challenging at best. He was loath to admit it, but he needed help. The thought irritated him, but for the first time in a very long time he felt almost calm. Plotting his master’s death was somehow giving him a certainty and purpose. The angry beast inside him was being held at bay.

He supposed he had his father to thank for his current state of mind. Killing Han Solo had done something unexpected; it had punched a hole somewhere deep inside. At the very end, when he looked into his father’s eyes he didn’t see hatred for what his son had just done, only deep sorrow and regret. The regret had permeated into Kylo’s skin somehow like an infection. In that moment when facing the rebel fleet, with his finger on the trigger, he realized killing his mother too would have shattered him. She was gone though, like Han Solo. He would have stopped the blasts from his wing mates, if only he hadn’t been taken by surprise. _Let the past die,_ he told himself numbly _._

The medical droid had almost finished its work when he felt a strange shift in the Force. He absent-mindedly waved the machine away trying to focus on whatever it was pulling at his mind. Thinking of his mother gave him a fleeting, ridiculous thought that she was somehow reaching out to him beyond death’s veil. To his astonishment, a woman did indeed spring into being, sitting directly in front of him. But instead of his mother’s proud, ageing face, he found another. _The girl_. 

The morning sun was illuminating the contours of her delicate features. Kylo sat mesmerized at the vision of her bathed in sunlight and realized that he too could feel the warmth of it on his skin. He could not think what to say and belatedly realized that she was turning to grab her gun. “Oh shit!” he cursed as the blaster spat out a beam of energy towards him. As if woken from a nightmare, he sat shaking in the metal chair, clutching at his stomach. For the briefest of moments he wondered if he was going mad but a strange feeling persisted as he sprang from the chair. _A connection_ , he thought to himself, _still hanging in the air_.   If only he could find it again. 

Unsure what else to do, he paced agitatedly through the empty walkways of the medical bay. “It’s still there,” he muttered to himself. Before he took another step the Force shifted again in that way it had done before and he turned instinctively towards a point where something was focusing. Rey was now standing in front of him with the same bewildered expression. Kylo raised his hand towards her, partly to see what would happen, and commanded her to bring Luke Skywalker to him. The command had no effect on the girl apart from appearing to infuriate her.

“Can you see my surroundings?” he queried before the inevitable attack he sensed coming.

“You’re going to pay for what you did!” she spat at him.

Kylo purposefully ignored her fury and instead focused on the curious situation to hand, which _she_ didn’t seem the least bit interested in understanding. “I can’t see yours. Just you.”

 _What was this connection?_ he wondered. Kylo doubted the girl could be doing it on her own.   As strong as she was in the Force, not even a master could sustain this level of Force projection. “You can’t be doing this, the effort alone would kill you”, he informed her. “This is something else,” he murmured to himself.

The girl’s attention was suddenly drawn towards a noise over her shoulder. Kylo sensed her fear and knew that someone she didn’t want him talking to was approaching. “Luke?” he questioned, but could not see or hear anyone else. With that, the connection was gone.

 

_Sometime later…_

His mind raced with possibilities. The scavenger girl had frequented his mind more times than he liked to admit after their encounter on Tokadana, but following their strange connection she was almost all he could think of. He had to be careful now he realized, especially around Snoke. He had purposefully avoided his master for the last few days, trying to bring his thoughts together. It was becoming ever more apparent that the girl Rey was significant in some way. _Who was she?_ Was the thought that continuously came to his mind. During his interrogation of her on Starkiller base he had seen fleeting images of her abandonment on Jakku. He wondered what scum could do that to their child. Kylo suspected she had buried the truth deep within her mind.

He remembered the bond that Luke Skywalker had with his own mother. Leia always sensed Luke’s arrival beforehand and seemed sensitive to his feelings too. The idea that Rey was related to him in someway disquieted him. He felt sure that he was the last of Darth Vader’s offspring. He suspected she came from a forgotten line of Jedi ancestry that was almost destroyed during the days of the Galactic Empire. He thought this more likely than such power just springing from nowhere.

Then there were the visions. The visions had started soon after he burnt down Luke’s Jedi temple. The dreams were always the same, and he knew these visions were not ordinary dreams but a message from the Force.   They showed a girl, always emblazed in light ready to burn him with her fury. It was not long before Snoke found the girl in his mind. The vision had unsettled his master and Kylo had noticed a subtle shift in Snoke’s regard for his apprentice after the discovery, although he tried to appear dismissive at the time. Snoke cautioned his apprentice in putting too much importance to visions of the future.

When Kylo confronted Rey and that treacherous scum FN-2187 in the forest on Starkiller base he knew without doubt that she was indeed the girl the Force had prophesized. She had lost all meekness and uncertainty and left in its place was a fiery white light of fury, come to consume him. He had offered to teach her the ways of the Force. _Why?_ He asked himself, but a small voice in some forgotten part of his mind tells him the answer. _She is making you feel things you thought you were incapable of._ He reflexively curled his gloved hand into a fist. These are dangerous thoughts he knows, and surreptitiously tries to clear his mind. Yet he wants to see her again, to understand what she is and why the Force is connecting them.


	2. Force connection two

He was finding himself brooding more times than he would like. He wished he could be more productive, but it was like all wind had left his sail. Watching others go about their business on the hanger bay provided a welcome distraction. He observed the engineers going about their duties; repairing damages to several TIE fighters, sustained from the latest skirmish with the Resistance.

Kylo's thoughts wondered back to Rey and their strange bond. _How is the Force connecting them like this?_ He mused. It seemed to him that neither of them was able to control how or when the connection occurred. He had heard that a Force bond can sometimes manifest between a master and a student, but he had assumed that this would involve two willing parties. From their last encounter he could clearly see the hatred in her eyes, so he felt it safe to rule out that possibility.

Kylo felt irritation at the thought of being despised by someone who hardly knew him. _Maybe I can make her understand._ He scoffed to himself, believing the thought futile. He felt though, there must be a reason the Force was bringing them together; he just needed to figure it out. This was the one time he wished he could ask Snoke. Kylo knew that Snoke had sought out many secrets regarding the Force in the Unknown regions of the galaxy and horded those discoveries jealously. If anyone would know about the nature of Kylo’s bond with Rey, he would. But Kylo knew that revealing his interactions with Rey to Snoke would most certainly not be in his interests.

As Kylo Ren stood silently staring through the pane of glass on the observation deck, a familiar ringing sound echoed through his mind. He suddenly smelt the salty tang of the sea and heard the crash and roar of water. He swung around, and there she was. Her face was dewy from the sea spray and her cloak was covered in droplets of water.

“Why is the Force connecting us, you and I?” he enquired.   He was certain that she was unlikely to know the answer anymore than he did, but he noticed that she had an instinctive use of the Force. Maybe she has some greater understanding of the truth, as sometimes children do, unclouded by preconceptions and prior knowledge.

“Murderous snake!” she bellowed at him. His earlier eagerness to see her again deflated slightly. S _he hates me,_ he thought irritated.

He didn’t think she knew Han Solo long enough to form such a strong bond. Maybe it is the act of killing him that she doesn’t understand. _That would make sense_ , he thought to himself. When he had looked into her mind, he saw her yearning for a family and her stoic determination to stay on Jakku until she could find them again.

“You’re too late. I found Luke Skywalker. You lost.” She continued in that same forthright manner she used the last time they spoke.

“Did he tell you what happened, the night I burned down his temple?” He fired back. What have they spoken about together, he wondered. Did Skywalker have the guts to admit what happened between them? Probably not. Why else would he cower and hide away in some godforsaken corner of the galaxy? Everyone wants to call him a hero, but Kylo wanted to tell them all only he had the true measure of him.

“I know everything I need to know about you.” She replied.

“You do?” _Like hell you do._ He gazed into her angry almond shaped eyes, stepping closer to see whether she would hold her nerve. _She’s so fierce,_ he thought, _like a lioness_. “Ah you do. You have that same look in your eyes that day in the forest, when you called me a monster.”

“You _are_ a monster,” she replied, but her resolve had faded slightly.

Kylo stepped even closer, feeling the pull between them. He wondered what would happen if he tried to touch her. “Yes I am.”

As he said the words, she evaporated and he was left again considering the nature of the strange bond they shared. He realized that the ocean spray was still clinging to his face and the front of his uniform.


	3. Force connection three

The physical assault of his opponent during the training session gave Kylo Ren a release that he hadn’t felt in days since recovering from his injuries. He was slower than usual thanks to that damn Wookiee’s bowcaster. He returned to his quarters, hoping that the day’s exertions will at least help him sleep better. Feeling uncomfortably warm, Kylo removed his outer garment until he was stripped to the waist. Whilst retrieving some water to quench his thirst a familiar pull on his mind arose.

Kylo didn't turn around immediately knowing she will be there.

“I don’t want to do this right now”, she said in a small strained voice, echoing his own thoughts. He sensed sadness and her usual spirit was somewhat diminished.

“Yeah, me too.” He turned around slowly to face her but she had turned away, not yet noticing his state of undress.

“Why did you hate your fa-“, she cut off abruptly in embarrassment. Seeing her reaction to him gave him unexpected satisfaction. He had never stood naked in front of a woman before, he reflected. A life dedicated to the Force had demanded an apprentice stay celibate and free from such distractions. Standing exposed in front of this woman though did not have the awkwardness he expected. He wanted her to look at him.

“Do you have a cowel or something you can put on?” She demanded. Her blushes amused him but he was careful not to show it and stayed defiantly immobile. With a shake of her head, and what he thought was an attempt to regain her composure; she carried on with her questions.  “Why did you hate your father? Give me an honest answer!” 

 _Hate Han Solo? Did I?_ She will never understand his reasoning to this, he realized. The pull to the light was what he hated. Han was part of that. He wanted to be the apprentice Snoke desired; strong, filled with purpose and resolve. He wanted to be free of conflict.

“I didn’t hate him,” he told her, moving closer. He could sense her anger rising again, giving her strength.

“You had a father who loved you and gave a damn about you. I don't understand,” she continued, the words pulsed out of her as tears of frustration streamed down her cheeks. She is showing her weakness, Kylo mused. A thought came to him in that moment. Can she be turned? The thought was more a hope than anything else. He felt her loneliness and felt it chime with his own. Could she join him to help defeat Snoke? He was unsure; she was still boiling with rage about what he did to his father. _Make her understand_.

“Of course you don't understand. Your parents threw you away like garbage- ", he stated calmly.

“They didn’t!” she protested.

“They did. But you can’t stop needing them, it’s your greatest weakness. Looking for them everywhere. In Han Solo and now in Skywalker.” He watched her closely. "Did he tell you what happened the night I burned down his temple?"

"Yes!" She insisted. But her clear and untroubled response made him certain that Luke had probably missed some crucial parts of the story.

"No." He said after a moment's pause.

It had been a while since he had thought about the events of that night. He had recently turned 19 and had spent seven years training under Skywalker. Luke had promised him a trip back to see his mother the following week and maybe to consider a post in the New Republic as a representative of the newly formed Jedi Order. Outwardly all had been well between Luke and Ben Solo. However, under the surface grew a tension between master and student. Ben knew he was showing signs of darkness during his training and Luke was growing more and more fearful of it.

The being he had come to know as Snoke warned him that Luke would turn on him once he understood the full strength of his power. Ben started to believe that Snoke might be right and the growing paranoia made him sleep with his lightsaber close at hand.

After a particularly grueling training session, Ben fell into a dreamless sleep, exhausted. He probably would not have noticed his uncle creep into his room if it hadn't been for a fierce spike of fear that ran through his body. The Force was pulling him out of sleep, alerting him of danger. Through the grogginess he found to his alarm, Snoke's predictions had come true. Luke Skywalker stood over his bed, lightsaber in hand about to make a fatal blow. The betrayal incensed the young Ben. He called on his lightsaber to defend himself against his uncle. The only way he could think to protect himself was to bring the overlying roof crashing down on Luke's head.

Rey listened in rapt silence to Kylo's version of events. He knew she could see the truth through their strange connection.

"Liar," she responded after a while, but she had lost all her earlier conviction.

"Let the past die. Kill it if you have to. It's the only way to become what you were meant to be." In an instant she was gone. Kylo stared into the space where she had been.

Stiffly, Kylo turned to shower and change. Reliving the past brought back all his feelings of betrayal until the anger bubbled inside him like lava. He sorely wished he could go back down to the training room to go one more round with the combat droid. He knew though that Rey now understood that Luke Skywalker wasn’t quite the hero everyone made him out to be. But lying in bed he felt the loneliness engulf him again until he was hollow, all but a shell filled with cracks. He found himself hoping the Force connection would open again soon.


	4. Force connection four

Kylo had given up on sleep after a few hours tossing and turning in his bed. His head buzzed with anger and frustration. He had just arisen when Snoke’s voice echoed through a holographic projection.

“Kylo Ren,” he intoned.

“Yes master,” Kylo managed, trying to hide the newly found hatred in his voice.

“I sense the end is near for the rebel fleet. If the resistance has already found Luke Skywalker, now is the time he will most likely act. I want you to be ready on deck.”

“I will,” he replied.

“There is another matter I wish to discuss with you in person. When you are ready, I will be waiting.” With that the commlink cut off abruptly. He was taken aback by Snoke’s request. Has he seen my thoughts as of late? The thought chilled Kylo.

He had still not conceived of a plan to dispose of Snoke - at least not one where he survives. Snoke’s praetorian guards were lethal he knew. Designed to combat an assailant with a lightsaber, Kylo knew that taking on one would be hard enough, but eight guarded his master night and day. That was not even taking into account killing Snoke himself. An ancient master of the Force, he had many powerful tools at his disposal, without even the need of a lightsaber. Kylo would have to be patient and wait for the right opportunity. _He must not know about Rey._ The thought brought a heavy feeling to his stomach. Snoke had already accused Kylo of having compassion and weakness for the girl. If Snoke knew what had developed between them since, Kylo suspected it would only be a matter of time before his master would dispose of _him_. 

Kylo swiftly changed into his black uniform, and then checked the latest status report regarding the pursuit of the rebel fleet. He wondered where these ragtag remainders of the resistance were heading. _We will crush them all._ As this thought came to mind, he realized that he didn’t want just the rebel fleet destroyed, he wanted it all gone. A clean slate is what he thought was needed. No rebels, no Sith, no Jedi, no New Republic and even no First Order. He wanted to wipe it all from existence and start again.

His thoughts were cut off abruptly by a familiar ripple in the Force. _Rey_. He felt at once glad to see her but then noticed her face was still streaked with tears. He wondered what new barrage of attacks she was about to level on him. She was sat crouched on the edge of something he couldn’t see, wrapped in a blanket. Her hair and clothes were damp as if she had been caught in a heavy downpour of rain. Kylo sensed waves of great sadness and disappointment flooding him. He sat down on a low table that was close to where she appeared. Her eyes rose to meet his and he sensed no hostility for once to his presence.  

She told him all about her visit to a cave deep under the island. It was a place that had promised her the answers she was seeking. Kylo listened patiently, intrigued by her experience. He felt the dark side of the Force was what had been calling to Rey and something inside him felt heartened that she had responded to it. _Maybe she can be turned after all._ Neither the cave nor Luke Skywalker had given her the answers or belonging she craved. Kylo could feel her bitterness and despair as raw as if it was his own.  Unbidden, he suddenly wished he could give her the belonging she so desperately sought.

“I’ve never felt so alone,” Rey finished, her voice hollow.

“You are not alone,” Kylo replied without any hesitation.

Her eyes met his and the strength of the bond between them suddenly felt solid, like the distance between them was nothing and time and space were morphing to accommodate them.

“Neither are you,” she said softly, her eyes fixed on Kylo. He felt his heart beating fast, surprised by her response. Even more surprising still, she lifted her hand towards him. She wanted to touch him. He wondered if that was even possible. His hand was shaking slightly as he took off his glove. The pull between them was magnetic, he felt unable to resist even if he wanted to. Slowly, trying to suppress a tremble, he extended his hand towards Rey, who sat waiting patiently.

The moment their hands met, Kylo was overwhelmed with all that flooded his mind. The Force showed him wave after wave of images. A small girl sold to a fat Crolute on a desert planet by neglectful parents. Rey lonely and waiting. He shivered and trembled when he saw something else too. Rey standing with him, fighting by his side, bringing down Snoke _together_. She would turn, he saw, and join him. She was staring into his eyes and he could see from the intense way she was looking at him that she too was seeing visions through the Force.

“Stop!” rang a clear voice penetrating through the connection like cold water. Kylo turned, and finally after so many years, he could see his former master Luke Skywalker looking angry and shocked at the pair of them clasping hands.

Kylo’s hand closed on air and he was left in his quarters shaking uncontrollably. He stood up slowly, trying to compose his thoughts. He tried to process all that he had seen. The Force had shown very clearly that Rey would join him and help defeat Snoke. The thought made him tremble with nervous excitement. He had seen something else too. He knew who Rey’s parents were. He knew the answer would not be what she wanted to hear. Both her parents had died on Jakku and worse still, they had sold her off to a lifetime of scavenging. Seeing her lowly start in life, Kylo reasoned that the belonging she sought must lie with him. Their fate was tied together somehow. Kylo knew without doubt that she belonged to him, and it was up to him to show her that.

_Pull yourself together!_ He knew that he must take his mind and emotions in hand, otherwise it would be the end of him. Kylo had to remind himself that Rey too will be in danger - if she does indeed come to him. A nagging feeling pulled at his chest. He still didn’t understand why Rey would risk her life to come to him. What had changed? _What did the Force show Rey?_ He strongly suspected that she had seen the conflict in him and was hoping to turn him from the dark side. More than ever he wished he could tear it all down. Sith and Jedi. Light and dark. He wanted to start again and rebuild the galaxy. He could do it with Rey he realised. Who else would be a better partner in forming this new alliance and to build a New Order? No-one. She was his equal in so many ways, he must convince her to join him. _Maybe this is why the Force is bringing us together._ The thought sent a wave of exhilaration through him. After several minutes of pacing around his quarters, he was finally able to calm his nerves. He left his room and went to find Hux for the latest status report, quietly waiting in hope for Rey to answer the call of the Force.


	5. Force connection five

Kylo Ren's anger had been a terrible, all-consuming thing. He felt the fear and anxiety of all those around him who dared to even look at him. His hatred of everyone and everything was a bottomless well in which he hoped to drown all his enemies; starting with the last remaining resistance forces holed up in the cave on Crait. However, as soon as he understood that Luke Skywalker had projected himself through the Force, Kylo knew his thirst for blood would go unsated. He suspected that Luke's life would soon be over, but this thought did little to placate him.

 _She left me,_ was the only thought that resounded in his head. The anger and hurt that swelled inside him was almost suffocating. She was holding on to some stupid idealist bullshit that his mother and those New Republic plebs were spouting. _She chose them over me._ The thought cut him to the bone. After everything they had experienced together and taking down Snoke, she had gone running back to those traitors and thieves. _It was all based on a fucking lie anyway,_ he told himself. After Snoke's revelation that it was in fact he who had bridged their minds, he saw clearly that there was no important destiny or Cosmic Force crap bringing him and Rey together. It was all just Snoke and his clever schemes. The realisation made him feel hollowed out inside.

He had to pick up the pieces now he knew. _He_ was Supreme Leader. No more masters. The thought pacified him a little; at least now he was in control. He no longer would be told what to do or need anyone's help. He would rule the galaxy, finally bringing order and crush those who resisted him. Once he had hoped to follow in his grandfather’s footsteps but now he understood that he must be master of his own destiny.

Kylo brought Hux and a battalion of stormtroopers into the cave to survey the damage that Luke had inflicted. As they had suspected, the cave was devoid of life and only contained several rusting pieces of equipment, along with a stolen First Order shuttle.

Kylo let the others search the remaining sections of the cave to see whether anyone remained within its depths. As he was passing a bunker he noticed something gold and familiar, glittering on the floor. He stepped closer and kneeled down to retrieve it. His hand shook slightly when he realised that the object was a pair of gold dice his father had obtained when he won the Millennium Falcon. He remembered how his father would boast proudly about it when he was a boy.

As he considered the significance of finding these dice, a familiar echoing in his mind jolted him out of his reverie. _It was still there_ , he marveled, taken by surprise. Rey looked down at him from the door of his father's old ship; her expression grim and determined. Still kneeling, he felt almost numb as he reflected that they were still bonded. The old bastard Snoke had lied, Kylo thought bitterly, or whatever he started, between them they had finished. The thought made his stomach tie up in knots as the truth crashed down on him. _She doesn’t hate me,_ he sensed, _just frustrated I wouldn't join her and those Resistance fools._

Suddenly Kylo sensed someone else too, he had previously been too angry to notice before. His mother's familiar presence was also with Rey, she had survived somehow. They were all on that damn ship. He wanted to tell her in that moment to stay but saw her hand move to shut the bay door. With a deep metal clang, the Millenium Falcon slammed shut and Rey was gone. He had never felt more alone.   As if to answer this thought, Kylo sensed another familiar presence in the Force. This time the Force was not showing Kylo life but death. Luke Skywalker's spirit passed on and with that the dice, which he held loosely in his hand, faded away. Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order bowed his head and silently wept.


End file.
